April 24


Release Your Default Response (to Begin Again)

By Adela Rubio

April 24, 2022

Begin Again

It's springtime in the Northeast. The birds are chirping, flowers are blooming, and the sun is shining abundantly. Nature, as always, reminds us that renewal and rebirth are a matter of course. It's an ideal time to tap into the natural rhythms and claim your own.

One of the things that can constrict your capacity to flourish and thrive are the assumptions you may have made about who you are and how best to meet the world. Life experiences may have created habits and assumptions that are not true. You may have chosen these default responses again and again until they are well-worn grooves that seem to be the way things are, the way YOU are.

Contrary to outer appearances, you can always choose another pathway. You are not locked into anything even who you think you are. Life is a dynamic experience, always changing, and so are you.

If there's a problem area in your world (one where you're feeling blocked or challenged) notice your default response. Often, there's an automatic behavior that you engage in that creates the same outcome again and again.

Here's an example from my own world.

Question Your Default Response

I tend to withdraw and isolate around new people. I often assume that I won't be okay unless I control which people are in my environment. Granted, this is a survival mechanism created in early childhood. It's still playing out.

My brother invited me to spend a week in Florida. He's rented a house and it looks amazing. I've been flip-flopping on going because there is SO much going on inside of me. I worry I'll have an emotional outburst of some sort and I'll be the doggie downer in the crowd. It really escalated when I learned there were going to be more people than expected. I tend to like very small gatherings where I know all parties involved. I decided not to go. My usual default response. It's what I do. I opt out.

He gently reminded me that this is an old response and I am cutting myself off from a great experience and some new opportunities. (Bless his heart, he knows how to get through to me. There are very few people that can get me to shift my rigid stance when I'm in a highly emotional state.) The tears trickled down my cheeks and I felt the tight squeeze on my heart release.

Then I had an astounding insight: I realized fear was beneath the assumption. It was an early childhood fear when being around new people led to multiple instances of sexual abuse. I hadn't really pinpointed the initiating circumstances until that moment.

Mind you, I've worked on these issues for decades. I had never honed in on why I couldn't let this default response go. It was instinctual. It felt like my survival depended on it. At one time, it did. Once my automatic defense mechanism settled (thank you meditation practice) I was able to override this default response.

Right away I booked the airline tickets. I'm off to Siesta Keys and am really looking forward to it. I released my assumption and chose a different pathway. I opened to the possibility.

Is there some area in your world that could benefit from releasing your default response?

Writing Exercise

Depending on where you are on your awakening journey, you may not get the insights right away. You may need to work with a therapist or coach to help illuminate the pathway. As you can see from my example, there are often many layers to your default response. However, you can start stirring the pot with a writing exercise. You'll be surprised at what unfolds.

Before you begin to write make sure to align with your vastest self and the creative forces of the cosmos. Feel yourself as an undulating essence, ever-unfolding into your brilliance. Know that this is true. Trust that there is great wisdom in this default response. It served you well. It is now time to uncover what's true.

Here are some possible writing prompts to help you hone in on what's hiding out beneath your default response.

  • When I engage in this response it makes me feel …
  • This response reveals …
  • My default response is ready to …

I'm curious to know what you discover. Here's to transforming it all into scintillating truth!

Image by truthseeker08 from Pixabay

Adela Rubio

About the author

Adela Rubio hosts trainings and events on activating your creative essence with collaboration and community. She's hosted 40+ Online Events (30-Day Events, Virtual Summits, and digital marketing trainings) and facilitated 100's of Writing Circles.

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