I have been moving about quite a bit for the past 3 years. (If you're in my inner circle you already know that.)
There are several reasons for it but one of the primary reasons is that I feel so unsettled inside. There is still so much inner movement. There are aspects of me that are coming back online, like my writing. (I thank the cosmic muses.) Other things are still very much in flux. Home is one of them.
No space feels quite like home. During my latest travels I've lived with both family and friends. I even rented my own apartment for 8 months. Nothing feels quite right.
Do I stay in the area to be close to my family? Do I adventure out further and live somewhere I would really love? Would I still love it if I couldn't be close enough to visit my family? Why do I have to ‘either' any of it? These kinds of questions are great to a get a grip on some of the issues at play. They're not great to create any clarity, yet.
Today's morning musing is on how to find your way home, while you're figuring it out. May you find the silver lining in the murkiness of uncertainty.
I was having a conversation with a friend yesterday and catching up. We got into my living situation and I said I'm navigating it differently. I didn't have to go into much detail. We're tuned in like that. That conversation is still with me. Here's some of what I shared and more:
I'm feeling a pathway opening up. Even before I know what it is specifically, I make different choices. The next step on the pathway appears. This lets me know my inner compass is working. Good. I can relax.
I get a full download on how to structure my services and trainings. That was quick! I'm eager for freedom. Freedom to craft more freely what I'm wanting right now.
This living with other people is stressful. It's like walking on eggshells or avoiding land mines. Sharing space takes energy for me, a good amount. Energy that I'd prefer to invest in other ways today. I can do it for periods of time but not as my norm.
One thing I hear over and over and over from my roommates is how sensitive I am. Yes, that's true. I'm sensitive. I like that about me. I feel more deeply about some things because I have so much access.
I am extremely sensitive and discern more than most of the folks in my world. Yes, I'm sensitive. It's a good thing. There's nothing powerless about being sensitive. It's a super power (even though it's normal everyday stuff to some of us).
This getting on my super-sensitive nerves bit is totally taxing. It's time. I'm hungry for a specific type of nourishing environment. I like a lot of quiet, sounds of nature (not people). Clean and uncluttered. Open windows and lots of light. Space. Space. Space.
I know it's time to create my own cave again. I don't want any desperation to cloud the way. I love living alone. That moment when I open the door. Yes! Lots of hope and heaven is found within my walls. It's the fabric of my world. I am so ready to craft a beautiful space again.
Let's add places to walk and places to play with writing, walking, dancing, speaking, singing and more Life!
Find Your Way Home While You Figure It Out
I've been on the fence. Part of me wants to put my few possessions into storage and hit the road. I love to travel, it energizes and excites me. I've already traveled to England, Hong Kong, Australia, India, Mexico, St. Lucia, Puerto Rico, and throughout the United States. There are so many, many places on my bucket list. So many places to go!
As seductively as it calls to my soul. I can't seem to pick up and go. Something stops me. It has for these past 3 years. I've had some very good personal reasons for staying put for a bit. One of those reasons is coming to a close next month. It has me feeling the fork in the road. I'm at a choice point. This could change the game.
It's seductive and scary all at once. What if I just allowed myself to experience this fork in the road? What if I just took the next step.
Maybe … that's all I'm responsible for right now: the next step.
Maybe … that's how I let the cosmic forces know I'm on for the dance.
Maybe … that's how I get the next step, and the next step, till I'm there.
Here's to finding your way home, step by step.
You're a star, darling! Light up the night!