This self-growth game feels like a tree, always sprouting a new leaf. It can be hard work sometimes. But here you are again, willing to face your illusions. You open to the truth that lives within you, palpable and present, as another mask dissipates in the fire of awareness. Bit by bit, you see more. You know more. Finally, you discover there is so much to know that is unknown.
That is quite the moment (an irrepressible grin makes its way across my face). Paradoxically, it is at this precise moment that you realize the rest of your life will be just like this. You'll see more. You'll know more. You'll discover how much you'll never know. (Really, you have to laugh. It's funny!)
Here's the good news: you start to relax and let it ALL flow. You become a no-resistance zone. You may have momentary blips but instantly you are able to shift your energy. Joy, wonder, and curiosity abound (Amid all the other stuff, Yes! It's like you're in a boat and it's floating all around you).
Self-growth does not seriously begin until you engage in self-inquiry. There are so many ways to do it, but it has to be in your daily life (just like brushing your teeth and taking a shower). I'd go as far as to say that it's a moment-to-moment thing. You begin to question how and why you do things. You try new ways. You realize that everything in your life is open to this process and it blows your mind!
What Self-Growth Looks Like
If you're here you are probably in touch with self-growth and have done some self-inquiry. You already know the road is littered with rough spots, lows and highs, places where you experience unbelievable grace. If you're unfamiliar with the territory, let me share what self-growth can look like.
Here's a Q&A with a participant in one of my 2016 writing circles. It illustrates what occurs when you start questioning your assumptions and are open to self-inquiry. This is how it can show up in your world when you're encountering the previously locked doors:
I have some questions about our writing 30-day thingy. When I went to bed last night I felt conflicted. Who is this part of me writing these things? She sounds stuck in some old story and that is not my way forward. And so I was thinking I should stop. I am confused. X and many teachers say that we should ignore anything old that comes up, not give it any power by focusing on it or listening to it. Just take the message and run straight back into the high vibe. Right now I don't feel any of my posts are even close to high vibe. After they open someplace inside of me that wants to be invited into the love zone. Yet I am wondering if this is really the best way? Can you help me to understand? Give me a new clarity or something?! Thanks!
Questioner
Just because you share energies/stories moving thru you doesn't mean it's low vibe. Notice the energy of the group. Is it a low vibe? Does it move you to more of your true self? Sometimes the funk needs a way to move gracefully. Sometimes you need to experience the glistening beauty of ALL of you. And… you can study with others (and love them) and still you must know for yourself. Check in with your own being and see if this serves you. Out of your head with it and into the fullness of your being. Of course, this is my own experience. You get to choose yours.
Adela
I feel all kinds of things inside of me. I assume it is a good thing. It is just that my pattern is to function from a strong place when I have a problem and opening up in this way has brought up so much emotion for me. Not a bad thing at all but disconcerting as I navigate through a very big challenge pretty much on my own. Bursting into tears is not going to help me with what I am going through!
Questioner
This process brings up different things for different people. Strong emotions are not unusual. Choose to experience it as energy, not as the story. Connect to the PURE energy of what wants to move through you, as you. It's something now, not from yesterday. This aspect of your being LIVES now. And … It takes more energy to resist tears than to let them pass. Sometimes that's just energy in a physical form and can release pressure. Don't make up a story about what it means if you allow yourself to cry. You are a grand vastness. Allow her to come into her fullness.
Adela
This awareness adventure is a wondrous thing. It changes YOU! Then everything else changes. The only thing you have to do? Be willing. Observe everything (especially yourself).
If you're ready to engage in self-inquiry with a circle of compassionate creatives (and create an awesome piece of writing), join my upcoming Writing Circle.
