November 28


How to Transform Your Pain Into a Pathway of Power

By Adela Rubio

November 28, 2012

Expand Awareness, power, Resistance

Is anything more painful than the inner wounds that shut down your willingness to feel? It could have been the loss of an intimate relationship or even a life-changing traumatic experience.

Remember that deep and chasm-like sense of loss that captured your breath, and brought your feelings to a standstill. As the rest of the world moved in its ordinary rhythm you were frozen in time with your fractured heart.

There's no denying that emotional pain fully captures your attention. Often the pain can feel all-encompassing so it seems to be the only thing you notice. You can struggle to make sense of this inner turmoil, resist, or avoid dealing with it altogether.

You don't have to be on the planet for a very long time before you come into an intimate relationship with pain. It is a companion on the adventure. Sometimes it is caused by others. More often it is self-inflicted. Often we continue to suffer the pain even when it is long past. This attachment is what prolongs the suffering. Pain is real, no doubt. Holding onto it creates ongoing suffering and stunted growth.

What if there were more to it than the emotional discomfort, the sensation of loss, the emptiness of the spiritual void? What if pain were just the initial surface symptom and there was more to be garnered from the experience? What if, in some way, pain was actually serving you as your agent of power?

3 Ways to Transform Pain to Power

One of the quickest ways to access more choices is to shift your framework, your worldview. Here are 3 ways you can access the TNT-like power of pain to activate your power:

1. Pain motivates you to evolve. Pain is a great teacher. It holds your attention relentlessly, giving no quarter. It forces you to surrender your long-held beliefs and squarely face the truth yearning to break free. It releases you from the personal prison of prejudice and pride. Pain opens you to the alivening force that is Life. There is no escaping it, pain transforms you!

2. Pain is part of our collective experience. No matter your race, religion, income, or sexual orientation, pain is a shared experience that connects us to the greater human story. It illuminates your shadows and fears and points to the corresponding power and lightness that is your legacy. There is no denying it, pain awakens you!

3. Pain carves out more space for joy. Pain softens your perspective. It opens your heart and brings home the bittersweet experience of loss. Whether it's the loss of your dreams or illusions, it leads you on an alternate pathway, one you might not have ventured otherwise. Just as light and shadow are both necessary to perceive form, joy and pain give meaning to each other, enriching the experience of life. There is no resisting it, pain alivens you!

One of the greatest a-ha's is that pain is unnecessary and is often a symptom of resistance to awareness of what is. Pain (we're not talking physical pain) is just another pointer that you are not lined up with what is … really. This means you've taken a side trip into illusion. Once the initial trigger has occurred you have a choice: You can respond from your wholeness or you can react from your habits.

Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain.

Jim Morrison

Every painful situation in your life can be used as a catalyst to create increased clarity and greater understanding. Pain can be your personal pathway to peace and power.

Ready to relinquish the pain? Today is the day.

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  1. Great food for thought. I like the ah-ha that pain can mean I'm out of alignment. When I remember that it's often quick to resolve

  2. Thanks for this post Adela. I truly can relate. For years I tried to avoid and resist my pain and would want to shift out of it into more ‘nurturing’ feelings. I spent a LOT of time in resistance as a result. 🙂

    These days I let all my feelings and emotions be what they are. There’s no running from them. I truly see that all of my emotional states are valid and ever-changing. One of the greatest gifts that has come of this realisation is that once I allow the pain to be what it is, then more often than not those feelings shift by themselves and whatever lesson was embedded within them, can then reveal itself.

    I definitely agree that pain can be a powerful catalyst for change, growth and clarity and I appreciate your sharing around this very much.

    In Love,


  3. Emotional scarring can be far more damaging than physical scarring. Physical healing seems to take far less time and fades more quickly. Inner healing however, can take years, as the infliction cuts much deeper, causing continuous angst and frustration.

    The emotional pain becomes intertwined with your mind, your soul and your body, suffocating vibrant life. When you keep feeding your story or trauma you’re self inflicting that pain all over again. And your thoughts, feelings, perceptions and beliefs become obscured.

    The good news is…… with one heartfelt decision, you can begin to heal yourself. To rewire, release, forgive, embrace and embody a new life force that gains clarity. To bring yourself back to self love, to release your pain and Rock Your Life!

    1. So true, Paula. The inner scarring lingers and impacts everything. That’s why remembering who you really are is so important. The come and the go do not impact the changeless and infinite aspect of your being. You certainly need to make peace, and even process, the hurtful things in life but you don’t need to be defined by them. Thanks for your deep and profound insights, as always.

  4. Hi, I thought that this was a community of women who were christians that you belong too. Was I wrong? I see you do have a quote from a saint. I am a born again. I don’t have to worry about pain. Everytime something happens the holy spirit just lifts my spirit and removes the pain and darkness.. I think maybe I’m in the wrong place.
    Paula Mary

    1. Paula Mary, glad to hear that you have a way to process the pain that is powerful for you. It requires a great level of trust and no doubt this has served you well.

      This is a community of people who are open to becoming more aware of the light that is our essence and the love that is available to be experienced and creatively expressed. Many of us also have a passionate message that we are eager to share and do so through partnership and community. I’m not much for labels though some of the ones that may apply to those that read my blog are evoloutionary entrepreneurs, heart centered writers, coaches and change agents, and visionary leaders. All are welcome here. Thanks for stopping by.

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