March 8

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How to Remember Who You Are

By Adela Rubio

March 8, 2016

Morning Musing

My musings are meandering on paths I'd rather not. Damn it!!!!

Anyway, now that I've vented I can move on to introduce today's musing topic. Today is all about who you are and how those times we feel ugliest about ourselves can turn into a profound blessing and growth leap.

Motherhood is something that I struggled with for so so so so so long. I won't dive deeply into this topic right now, though I know it will resurface. For a very long time I didn't feel I lived up to the pedestal of motherhood. I failed my children often, I'm sure.

I loved them wildly and always will. Whatever mishaps of the past, today I forgive myself. I know my children have been the biggest blesssing and wake up call ever.  They are my love muses! I'm glad I continue to answer. Love you, Phil and Erica! And thank you!

Now on to today's musing …

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Morning Musing

It was the love of my life – my kids – and wanting to offer them something better that pulled me back. I was fully in my body sensorially. My heart was its own separate world, carefully cloaked from the naked eye.

The people that got through to me moved from their heart, not their head. My children were heartfully abundant. They were physically affectionate and cuddlers extraordinaire. The walls of my self contained heart softened, bit by bit. They brought me so much love and joy. I could do no less than live up to it. Apparently, they saw me as I'd never known before. And I believed them.

Awakening my heart is what re-awakened my essence and sense of being. It impacted everything in my world. I started making great money, I was expressing myself creatively and I finally had some quality relationships. Though intimate relationships have always been particularly challenging for me, it's been my richest playground to learn about myself and what I'm capable of.

My children reminded me of who I really am, love. What greater gift have I ever received? None.

It's been worth it.

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If your heart has been shut down for a long while (like mine was) this is scary stuff. If you've known me for a while, did you ever imagine me as shut down? People think I'm an extrovert and always comment on my energy. I used to be very pent up. Imagine all that energy with nowhere to go. So, I wasn't only shut down. I was emotionally explosive!

I just blew my Shanti Shanti image, lol! Well, there you have it. From closed heart to open heart. I'll confess: sometimes I still pull in to my secret safe spaces. Then I remember who I am, laugh and dive into the dance again.

So, if today you've forgotten who you are, remember you are Love and Love is All There Is!

Dance on, my loves …

adelasigsm

 

 

Image: Natural, Jeronimo Sanz

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