How to Love Yourself (With a Simple Practice)

How to love yourself has been a decades-long adventure for me. It was not a conversation or topic likely to come up in my early environment. However, I had a lot of questions and a strong inner directive to find the answers.

It's been a long and winding road. I can still find myself at that blurry edge of co-dependency and compassionate connection. I had an incident on Friday. It is still reverberating through my body. My boundaries feel like JellO. I'm porous, no edges.

You get me, right? Self-love is an ongoing adventure. It may not have meaning at a higher frequency but while you're traipsing about in the physical it's some thing to hold onto. Something that won't slip through your fingers.

This self-love gig requires focus, even to this day. I have a tendency to fall into old habits and ways of being with those I love. I find, again and again, that I have to choose to love myself instead of sacrificing myself for the love of others. Friday's incident highlighted an old theme. I still forget.

I find I still need the things that help me remember who I really am. Practices do that for me. Here's a self-love practice that boosted my belief in myself when I was really floundering:

Self-Love Practice: Create a LOVE ME file.

  1. Create a directory on your cloud drive. Or, you can store it in OneNote, Evernote, or Notion.
  2. Fill it up with the nice things people say about you.
  3. When you're in the dip, sit with these love bits. Open to your fullness and receive. It will fill your tank. I promise.
  4. Want to boost it even more? Send an email to friends, family, clients, colleagues (take your pick). Ask them what they love about you. Add these juicy bits to your online love bank.

It might be hard to do. This might feel like a big ask. Take the risk. Your leap of faith will be rewarded.

At one time I didn't get my special pizzazz, lol! This practice helped. I created a folder on my cloud drive and called it: Love Adela. I filled her up. When I forget, I visit that folder until I remember.

This is a beautiful gift of connection and clarity that we gift one another.

Thank you, darlings!

Art by Metzae on Deviant Art


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  1. Such a spot on post. It's a journey, and at times, it feels like we take one (or many more) steps back. Only in hindsight do we see that we were backtracking to a better path through the woods of life. Boundaries and a sense of true self-love are things I am still very much working on.

    Thank you for your beautiful posts, and for teaching and sharing from the trenches, instead of from some imaginary mountain top where the foibles of the human mind ostensibly do not exist.

    1. You get it, babe! Yes. It happens with a lot less frequency but it still happens. I have practices and relationships that help me shift quickly. Yesterday, I chatted with two buddies. Every time I engaged I received more clarity.

      There are lots of ways to do it, right? You’ve got to find your way. Then create a relationship with it (a practice). This way when you call on it things move swiftly.

      Thanks for the conversation, Laura. It adds to the writing above. Loved the ‘teaching/sharing from the trenches’ bit too. That is pretty much the way of it, sis. 🙂

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