May 22


Celebrating Your Essence

By Adela Rubio

May 22, 2007

Celebrate More, Self Love

Do you have trouble deciphering your own gifts and talents? That's the case for many who weren't raised in a home where healthy self-care and self-love are the norm.

I remember it being distinctly discouraged in my home: ‘Children should be seen and not heard', ‘Why? – Because!', ‘Don't Brag!, ‘ ‘Who do you think you are?,' and the colorful Cuban version, ‘Los niños hablan cuando las gallinas méan!' (translation, ‘Children talk when chickens pee'). These early environments do not give way to a healthy sense of self. Is it no wonder that trying to figure out your passion and gives can be a challenge?

As I move across time I notice that it is my responsibility to shine my light on what it is that I love about myself. It does not serve me, or others, to WAIT for you to notice me, to honor me.

This isn't to say that I walk around saying how wonderful I am all the time (okay, sometimes I DO), but it means being specific about what works about ME and calling that more into play. Sure, others can mirror it for you but let's not wait for that. There is great power in affirming what is good about you and there is a dearth of celebration around this.

Celebration is a way to become more conscious of the light that you are unto yourself. Self-love is not a luxury, it is a vital piece of owning your true inheritance. Self-love is the doorway to unconditional love – how can you truly love another if you are looking for them to fill a bottomless chasm within you. That's attachment and conditional love. That's give to get.

So, how can you do this?

1. Create new rituals of celebration for your birthdays, holidays and family gatherings.

Don't fall into the groove of what has always been. Think about what would fill you up with energy to the point of sheer explosion. Incorporate some of those ideas into your celebrations. For example, last year I co-designed a baby shower for a dear friend. She's an artist, a Reiki practitioner and a highly sensitive person. We gathered her close friends and celebrated in a different way than the baby showers I had attended. Everyone brought a different dish. Then we participated in a ritual that was amazing — we each went around the circle and shared how we had met the mother and what was most precious about her. Then we invoked an intention for the life of the coming child. It was so gloriously connected and fulfilling, we were all touched by the sacredness and richness of the time we shared together.

2. Honor yourself and your uniqueness.

Choose what fills you up, don't wait for others to do that for you. Have the courage to dig within yourself and honor what truly brings you joy. If you want to go away for the weekend with a companion for your birthday and your family has planned it's traditional birthday cake dinner — what do you choose? Who do you honor? Whose truth do you live?

3. Find your tribe.

Let's face it, sometimes you're not born into a tribe that sustains you. So . . . create your own! Find people who ‘get you'. Hang out with others — either virtually or in person — who make you feel good to be alive. People who affirm the things that have meaning for you. Psssst, here's a secret. The more you dare to be who you are, the more you will attract these people into your life. It doesn't work the other way around. Come out of hiding, shake free of the closet and boldly BE.

It takes courage and commitment to open up to what lies within you. When you freely love and celebrate yourself and know WHO YOU ARE you easily extend that to others because you KNOW who they are.As you shine the light of love on yourself, you also shine it on others!!

Celebrate! Celebrate! Dance to the Music!

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