How to Make Peace and Receive Your Father’s Legacy

I sink into contemplative space on many holidays. They feel especially sacred and pure, as if a portal in time has opened and there is a unique opportunity to create anew.

Father's Day used to elicit conflicting thoughts and feelings, jumbled into a morass of ambiguity and avoidance.

Today, my heart is more open. I know that most of us are doing the best we can. Life is a playground. The board and players change, and so do we.

We live. We learn. We love.

I love my father, even though I've experienced great pain in this relationship. I won't go into the story because it's not helpful. Today I'm noticing what he gifted me, his legacy. As I tally the blessings, I owe him a lot.

My childhood is a mix of memories…

singing, LOTS of singing,
dancing to La Orquesta Aragon,
Charles Aznavour or Beny Moré,
heated debates and quick tempers,
endless conversation

I remember how my Dad used to challenge me on a fact, just so I would look it up in the Encylopedia Brittanica. My love of historical epics probably came from watching movies and debating history facts. From a very early time he encouraged my love of learning.

Dad was a passionate and handsome man, extremely magnetic and highly intelligent. I'd watch him wield his Svengali appeal whether he was baring his heart in a song or beguiling opponents in an argument. He had the gift of gab, and he was smooth! I was so proud!

It wasn't all perfect, but we made peace. He was the FIRST to see me and encourage me to be all that I could be.

I love him. I thank him.

What is your Dad's legacy to you? Today might be a day to make peace with what was and to glean the pearls created as a consequence of your experience with your Dad.

Happy Father's Day, Papas!

Adela Rubio

About the Author

Adela Rubio

Adela Rubio writes and speaks on awakening your creative essence with the power of collaboration and community. She's hosted 20+ Women's Writing Circles, 30-Day Adventures, and Telesummits.

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  • Rose Diamond says:

    Thanks Adela, this last full moon has been a time for forgiveness and finding peace – I’ve been feeling it too.

    Relationship with Dad – that’s a big story for each of us. I had a very challenging relationship with my father right to the end – he was my greatest teacher. Part of his legacy to me was a big picture vision and love of beauty – his spirit soared through opera – and although I didn’t inherit that particular passion I did receive the gift of always knowing there is more freedom and more beauty when I look and listen for it. At the same time he gave me the gift of knowing my limitations – I never succeeded in having the relationship I really wanted, although I gave it my best shot – and that was humbling and strangely liberating.

    He died three years ago this month, he is with me every day.

    Love

    Rose

    • Adela Rubio says:

      Making the choice to open to what’s possible doesn’t always mean we’ll get what we want, but we certainly do get what we need. The adventure of forgiveness and love is SO worth it. Thanks for sharing your Father’s legacy. I can feel the imprint of his gift in you.

  • Lyle says:

    We sons and daughters are both challenged by THE parents … sons typically by their mothers (or the step-moms as is the case for moi) and daughters by their papa.

    We need to embrace our opposite Gender to make peace with our Inner Parental Opposite …

    • Adela Rubio says:

      Making peace is definitely where it’s at, Lyle. We can’t create new experiences if we’re held hostage by the old ones. Thanks for your words of wisdom.

  • Marta Viejo says:

    My dearest Friend…I am honored to be your Friend!!

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